Monday, January 24, 2011

Chapter 142

My last post was on 8th Jan. I used to spend lots of time writing on my blog but lately I found another way of expressing my feelings and my thoughts. But I guess, my blog is still on my top list of favourite.

I broke up with him, I'm not suppose to spill this out here. He don't like my way of writing for public but actually this is for my own view. My story of life is not that catchy like those novels but I love every chapters that I've been through.

Our relationship ends because of me. I should be better for him if I really love him. I didn't realise that I'm not good enough because I always thought I'm in a safe zone already. I ignore his feeling on how I treat him. I keep thinking on how I treat him without thinking what he have done towards me.

Last week was my final exam week and I told him that I'll not mingling around with my friends but on last wednesday I obey my own words. I went to the Curve for meatball and Daim cake. I'm craving for them that day badly. Besides, I wanted to try another shop at subang ss15. I know I should give more priority to him than other things. Before that we already so cold when I decided to cut my hair short. Super short I meant! He wants me to keep my hair long but I refuse to listen for his command and I cut it short. He was mad with me and nothing else I can say than just "Sorry". I just want to give a shot of having short hair. Right after those incident, we fight a lot. All of the problems comes from me. I should try to listen more and follow him, give more time for him.

I'm sorry with my dress up, I should change. I just need more time. I'm still young, and i'm proud that my dressing da xmcm before. Before susah sgt nk npk i pkai long pants and long shirt. Now it neer been a problem for me. It just sometimes I feel like wearing it. I'm sorry. I bukan xnk pakai when I'm out with you. It's just bila we got out I takut jumpa ngn family or uncle or aunty u. Xmanis kan I pakai mcm tu jumpe org tua. itu je!!!

I'm sorry! I deserve to be dump. Stated right here, I've been dump. Now I know how it really feel like. I'm sorry but nothing else I want than you. We spend a lot of time together, I remember the week that everyday I came drop by to your house in Desa Vista and cook for lunch and dinner for you and your housemate. I love seeing you happy eating full plate of rice.

My mama always remind me " lelaki yg baik just for prempuan yg baik " so I should try to be better if I wants him. Besides, if I can't be him now maybe we'll be together later. Kalau ada jodoh, there's nothing to be worried kan. I know he's tooooo young to talk about those things. So many things that we want to achieve in life but early preparation makes a good target.