Chapter 137

I love him like crazy!!

I've never been in a long relationship since the last 3years. I admit that this kind of relationship makes me happier and safer. But, I'm wondering why when I feel safer I cry lots more than before. Even when I'm happy, I'll cry not only when I'm sad. My tears are like waterfalls, unstoppable! Even how hard I try, I still can't stop it from falling. I don't know why I'm too sensitive lately. Is it because of all those problems I had? or because of my health condition thats getting worse. Although I know when I cry I'm giving more work onto my brain which make me weaker but I still can't do a thing with it. I used to be a tough girl or best said heartless girl but not now. My tears are too cheap but it means everything. When I cry, I do really cry. I'm not a drama queen who tries to take everyone attention by crying. It just happened and I cant explain a thing. Just when I cry I need him to be by my side. Only him can cool me down. But I'm expecting too much from him until being problematic. When I'm sick I just want him to be by my side. But I still want him to know that I'm fine. I just want him to know that how happy I'm when I'm with him. His love just give me the strength for every second of my life.

I love you!

Yuna - Decorate

Decorate....Still yours!!

So you decided to see me out of the blue
Should I let you come over?
I think you're doing fine
That girl in your arms, does she know where you come from?

Almost made me move out of town
You don't want me to be around
But I stayed anyway.. just in case

Finding reasons to hate you more than before
Like how you said you would call
But never at all.. got rid off your number that I know by heart

You left your things at my place
As if I have all the space cause you know I don't mind
Just come back when you think it's time

I'm all black and white inside
Monotonous from left to right
I decorate my house with things you love
Just in case you show up.. in case you show up

Maher Zain - For The Rest Of My Life with Lyrics

I hope I'll get the right guy to lead me because I really dream of a guy who can take me together with him to heaven forever!

Chapter 136

My heart is screaming but I won't let anyone hear it anymore even you!!

* Starting from this point, I'm having my own e-diary for my own view because i won't let anyone see me cry

Jason Mraz - You and I both

You an I both LOVE!!

No one or no other things can break us apart

Chapter 135

My another handphone broke after 16hours being used. hahahahaha. Good laugh, I broke it myself after frustrated with myself and blaming myself for everything happen. So I just throw everything down and went out from the room at 2am. I went out alone without direction. Just walk around cyberjaya, having the night refreshing air. Then I was followed by black satria with 2 black guys. Thank god nothing bad happen, now I'm online here without direction too. I just need air to think wisely and be alone. I know going out from campus all alone walking on the street are dangerous and risky at this hour but I just need air to think rather than crying on bed blaming myself about everything and get upset. I love him thats all i know and i will defend. Sometimes when we love, we do stupid things because love is stupid and love makes us act stupid.

Good Job!!!

Now I'm wondering how to call my Afiq and mama but ehmmmmmmm. Afiq don't want to talk with me and my mom don't really talk with me unless I look for her first. We used to be bff, but now not anymore because she's disappointed when I decided to change my course. But she'll always be right behind me. Thanks mama!!! I won't let you down anymore because I love you with all my heart. I love my Afiq with all my heart too. So no point of me buying the new simcard if I still can't use my handphone.

CRYING

When I cry these are my favourite songs. Now my heart hurts and cry too!!

People can see the tears coming out from eyes but the most sincere cry is the tears in your heart

Crying by Aerosmith