Saturday, March 26, 2011

Chapter 147

I feel LOST!!

Nothing else can describe my feeling now. I know I'm losing him and I know he's holding back. Nothing else I need now then having him back in my arm. I know it's impossible. I always dreamt so much until I forgot what real life is. My fantasy of Disney Princesses should end immediatly NOW!! My love for him is never be a dream. I love him so much, everything feels like shooting stars for me. I mean it that I love you so much. Nothing else I need in my life now other than you.

Kenangan Terindah with him was the most miracle thing have ever happend to me before. Here, I would like to say sorry to all of my ex-boyfriend before him that I'm admitting he's the BEST guy have ever enter my life before. No matter how adorable, patient, lovable you are. You would never imagine how better he is than you guys. Another thing is " No matter if you already have RM for duit hantaran as I always said before with a Copper ".. my advice to you is " Go and find someoene else because my heart own by someone else already and it is totally not YOU!!".

Lately, when I hangout with my friends they always wondering who gonna be married first and I will always say " I dah jumpa, tnggu la habis belajar then sampai la kad kahwin ". They was totally shock until my facebook ada yang cakap "myra da baik la now, da tau pikir nk kahwin". I know it's too soon for me to talk about this. Tapi bak kata orang tua-tua " perempuan bukan makin muda so if da jumpa jaga la elok2 "... but for me, I found him already but I xtau nk jaga until I lose his grab I jadi macam ni. My heart always says he's the one for me but I'm still useless until at this moment that I lose him. Now I know that no other person much better suits me. I know it's too late for me to turn back. I'm announcing here, that I will never be the old myra ( means school time ), or even the better myra but will be the Best myra in me starting from this second. I've made a lot of mistakes before and now I know how stupid I am at the age of 20. Things that I need to change in me so that the BEST myra will be.

- Be more loyal girl, always loyal
- No more naughty me ( flirting is not sexy but stupid )
- Know how to take care of other feeling ( not just to think about myself )
- No more drama ( drama queen is so last year myraaa )
- No more tears ( your tears is really annoying )
- No more tak cukup kain baju ( good girl must start with attire )
- Attitude more towards girl ( be more sensitive with surrounding )
- Adding more girl friends ( too much guy friends )
- Alert with malaysian culture ( not to take things for granted )
- Be a good student ( to be a good mother for my children )
- Set a good example for my family ( the best role model )
- Be MODERATE ( moderate is the best key )
- Slowly be a good Muslim ( be a good muslim on earth and life after )
- Cooking ( learn to cook variety of food )

I hope I can change myself slowly as I promise to myself and make my parent proud of me. Insyallah, tahun depan ajak papa n mama pegi umrah. And this time I da xnak nangis just not ready to for for umrah. I feel sorry for myself because I always did mistakes in my life and whenever it's too late to change I decided to change. I always complain that my life is hard but actually I'm the one whose making it hard. If I would not get him back, then I have to realise this is my biggest mistake that will haunt me all of my life. I need to change myself so that I won't cry like now after this. So that I'll be the perfect girl.